Monday, July 28, 2008

Well-played

A guy recently told me: well-played. He was referring to me cutting to the chase, because, in fact, I hate playing! Dating is rough. At least for those of us who would rather be chillin’ at home (alone with some TCBY or a good book) than out on a bad date (good restaurant or not). Anyways, back to well-played. I just didn’t want to waste time. Life’s too short. Now, don’t get me wrong…the chase…the questions…the wondering…these are good and fun for awhile, but then c’mon. I'd rather just tell the guy I'm not interested than try to send subtle hints and hopes he gets it (because he won't), and on the flip side, I'd rather just let the guy know I am interested. Seems simpler. Neater. Nicer. And time is of the essence.

So, what follows are some tips on how guys can play well with girls. They’re taken from my own experiences as well as those of some of my dearest single girlfriends (and, boys, I know we could use some tips on how to play well with you too).

1. Do not drive your date to your favorite hunting spot on the second date.

2. Do not tell your date that your dad raised exotic zoo animals and you used to ride ostriches. And then when she asks about llamas (trying to somehow participate in this odd conversation), look at her like she’s a complete idiot, telling her straight-faced that llamas are way too domestic.

3. If you say you’re going to call, call. And not a day or two later. And this goes for texts, emails, stop-bys, letters sent by messengers on horseback.

4. If you’re wondering if you should tuck in your shirt, don’t.

5. Do not give a girl your phone number and tell her she can call you if she wants. Ask for her number, and if she’s not interested, she won’t give it to you. (I wouldn’t)

6. Do not take a girl to an expensive restaurant and/or activity and then make her pay her own way. She didn’t ask to go there in the first place!

7. Do not tell your date that she can go ahead and order a DQ blizzard (a chocolate chip cookie dough one!) but you’re going to pass because there are too many calories in it.

8. Do not always have a wingman.

9. Do not send flowers to a girl who is not your girlfriend.

10. Caution when hitting on a girl while sitting down. There’s a good chance she may be taller than you when you stand up.

11. First dates shouldn’t be asked out via texts.

12. Do not get mad at the guy in the parking ramp booth because you lost the parking stub.

13. Do not ask “Are you or are you not attracted to me?” prior to asking for a girl’s phone number.

14. Don’t suggest future hangouts if you know they won’t happen.

15. Do not continue texting and calling, leaving 2-minute voice messages four years after the dating has ended. That usually means it’s done.

16. Don’t say that actually lots of people think you look like Tom Cruise. You’re not a moviestar, and neither are we.

17. Don't think seven pairs of sunglasses on your stick shift is cool.

There are more. Oh, there are more. But I’ll stop. Well-played is hard to come by, but I’ve found it’s generally accompanied with honesty, common courtesy, thoughtfulness and every now and then, flowers. Play well, my friends. Play well.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!!!
And ditto on all of those tips to guys, plus a few of my own:

1. do NOT scream as a car drives by while your date is crossing the street IN FRONT of you!

2. do NOT ask a girl out to lunch and then, in the middle of a really great conversation, casually bring up the girlfriend that you're LIVING WITH! WHAT?!

3. do NOT bully a girl into going on a date with you. NO MEANS NO!

*sigh* boys are weird. throw rocks at them.

Heather said...

Seriously friends, common courtesy goes a LONG way.

Heather said...

one more to add...

21. Don't hesitate for a second to think whether you should or shouldn't walk a lady to her car at midnight downtown. No need to hesitate; the answer is always yes.

Jenna said...

-If you're not sure if you like the girl or not, don't tell her you got her a birthday present.

-Be consistent and always follow through.

-If you do like the girl, make it at least a little obvious.

Timmer said...

Ladies, the above list is truly great! I will take this all to heart and become the greatest man that ever lived... and i must say that i think i am already pretty close, the only 2 rules i've broken are #4 & #16. why just today i was told i look like a dude from 90210 (yep i'm that cool, getting compared to a guy 2x my age) That's all beside the point.

Here are 2 tips from a male perspective:

1. don't be afraid to lean in for a kiss, a lot of respectible guys will not want to force their lips on you.

2. don't bring up mundane details about your day early on in a relationship, he will be bored out of his mind and want to run far away from you. (it is ok to bring up later on in a relationship because if he has stuck it out long enough, he will know that you do in fact have a mundane side & he will like probably that part of you too).

*groan of fear* please don't throw rocks at us.

OH, I just noticed #21 & have always regretted that one time i hesitated and i have kicked myself for being a jerk ever since.

hj said...

it's ok, tim. learn from your mistakes. contrary to popular belief, i don't have rocks in my hands.