Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Open My Fist

Ever feel like you're holding on too tightly? There's something you want, something you want to protect. Something you're desperately afraid of, or simply desire. Whatever it is, your hands are wrapped into tight fists holding on to this thing so tightly your knuckles are turning white. My arms are beginning to shake because they're tired, and my eyes are squinting because I maybe don't want to see what's ahead.

This morning I prayed to just breathe. To sigh. To let out one of those long, long breaths, like you have to do at the doctor's office when they're listening to your heart. I need to open up my fists, and hold God's hand. The Benediction--something many of us who grew up in the church may have memorized from hearing it every Sunday--went through my head as I tried to sigh. "And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (from Philippians 4) Ha! It's almost too good to be true--these words that I know but rarely pay attention to. I can give my arms a freakin' rest. God is busy protecting my heart and mind, if I just open my fist and hold His hand.

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