Sunday, August 17, 2008

It'll be a sweet rocking chair

I spent the majority of my afternoon in the driveway, sanding a rocking chair my mom got--when she was 18--at a discounted price from JCPenney (because of a scratch on its backside). I want it for my new place, but right now it’s got this really dark stain complete with weird gold flowers decorating the back of it. So for hours I sanded all of its spindles and grooves. I ruined my newly painted nails and got calluses on my fingers. I think I was sanding my knuckles half the time too. I got sweaty. Me and my swimsuit were completely sandy. My shoulders got sunburnt, and I turned down an opportunity to go out on a friend’s boat to do this.

So, after hours of work with my back kind of sore from bending over for too long, I stood back and looked at my project, and quite frankly, it looks like crap. All that hard work, and it still needs more. Now it’s rough around the edges and can’t even come in the house because it’s all sandy.

Paul (as in the Apostle), in writing to his friends, the Philippians, says, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear, brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” (Philippians 3:12-13) Another translation of this verse says "press on to the goal." That's what I was thinking today after about two hours, sweat dripping into my eyes...press on press on press on. Only one more spindle (shoot me now).

Now quite a few months ago, I was on a first date, and at the end of a seemingly decent night, the guy told me that he thought it seemed as though Christians think they have it all figured out, that they’re always right. If he hadn’t been so good-looking, and if it hadn’t been such a surprise attack (I mean had I known, I could have come prepared…worn shin guards or something), and if he hadn’t been so vehement, perhaps I could have responded with something other than an open mouth. You know, come to think of it, why wasn’t this on my well-played list from a few weeks ago? Don’t tell your date that she and/or her religion are close-minded on the first date. Probably best-suited for the second or third date.

Anyways, the idea that I or Christians have it figured out is actually pretty funny. I’m so far from having it figured it out! And heck, if Paul didn’t have it figured out? Pretty sure I don’t! I am not immune from forgetting to zip up my jeans after going to the bathroom and then walking around for the next hour with my fly open. Nor do I know what the heck I’m going to do with this master’s degree I’m working on. That where-do-you-see-yourself-in-five-years question is just as frustrating to me! I get jealous. I say mean things and I think even worse things. My questions about God are endless. And I wonder why I pray, why I sing praises to God and why I go to church sometimes…why do I work on my faith because, just like my rocking chair, I still kind of look like (and act like) crap. I mean now I’m tan, but…

I guess I worked on the chair this afternoon because maybe next weekend it’ll be pretty, after I find the perfect stain or paint color. And then its home will be in my new guest bedroom for all my wonderful guests. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll rock my baby in it someday. I’ll then be happy I spent a few hours on it.

And likewise with my faith…despite my best efforts, I’m just as rough around the edges as everyone else. And I always will be on this earth. But Paul admonishes us and encourages us to keep working. And don’t focus on the fact that you’re ruining your nails, that you’re tired or dirty. Focus on keeping on and focus on the finished project. And admittedly, doubt about that finished project creeps in from time to time. Will it be as good as I think? Is it worth it? But I do believe God has given us just enough things to be sure about. And I do believe one of those things is that following Him is so worth it. My point being...Christianity doesn't mean having it all figured out. Nor does it mean it doesn't take some effort. Some sweat. And Christians go through all the tough stuff non-Christians go through. But it's worth it. So worth it. So, I’m headed to church here in a little bit, callused fingers and all. And to be honest, I actually really enjoyed working on that chair today.

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