Draw near

I don’t know what to tell you.

Well, I can’t really say.

That’s tough. I’m not sure.

I can’t answer for you.

These answers are not helpful. Or maybe they are. I’ve recently heard them, and part of me wants to snap back “Wrong answer! Just TELL me! Help!” But I got to thinking that they kind of force me to go to the person I probably should have gone to in the first place—God. And honestly, I’ve gone to Him, but I haven’t really waited patiently for an answer of any sort. Or direction. I want to know NOW. So I try to take matters into my own hands. He’s probably laughing at me as I go from friend to friend to mom asking for help. “Keep tryin’, hj, they’re not going to deliver,” He smirks. And what’s funny is that if I actually got an answer from someone, I’d have to still go to someone else. I mean, obviously, you need a second opinion.

I’m working on—trying to work on—my final paper for class. So I’m spending an inordinate amount of time on Hebrews 10: 19-25. I’m parsing it down to every last syllable—well, not syllable, but word. I got hung up on verse 22: “let us draw near with a sincere heart.” Doesn’t the phrase “drawing near” make you think of a warm fire (or a Christmas carol)? The phrase “drawing near” makes you want to draw near! But when I’m impatient, I draw far from God and seek my own answers. My heart is far from sincere because maybe I ask for His help, but I don’t wait for it. I go try to find my own answers.

A warm fire just begs for time. For lounging. For chillin’. For taking a load off. I want to draw near to Him with a sincere heart and just lounge in that warmth. I’ll probably get an answer of some sort then.