The bests

So, I just finished deadline—meaning I sent off a magazine, 38 pages of my writing and editing to the printer where 60,000 copies of it will be made and then sent to people around the world. This is the best feeling and the worst feeling. The best because it’s been an incredibly long couple of weeks at work and I’m happy to be done, but the worst because I can’t change anything else anymore. No more adding commas, or checking spellings, or reworking headlines. It’s done, and that is a very scary thing.

This got me thinking about bests/worsts, and how if you want the best, chances are you have to go through the worst. Or at least be willing to go through the worst.

Today is an absolutely amazing May day in Minnesota. The flowers are blooming—you can smell ‘em. The grass is green. The sun is shining. It’s 78 degrees. But it’s only this amazing because we went through six months of winter hell. Having lived in Cali, I know how to take good weather for granted. There were days when 78 and sunny annoyed me! I like that in Minnesota, the bad-weather days make the good-weather days GOOD.

And I’ve loved deeply. A person reached the corners of my heart; he shined light on all my shadows. And because of that, when it ended, I hurt deeply. The tears stung. Then, they stung some more. But given another chance, I’d take the stinging because his light was so warm and bright.

Anyways, I get nervous. I get nervous when I send that magazine to the printer, and I get nervous to let my guard down, to let someone in, to hurt again, but then I remember God’s bests, and it’s all good.