Itsy-bitsy spider

One night when I was still living at mom and dad’s, as I was crawling into bed, I saw a spider on the wall my bed was up against. I’m not incredibly fearful of spiders. I don’t like ‘em, but I’ve lived alone long enough to know that I must rely on myself to kill ‘em (and when you were once greeted by a large rat in your grill...well...spiders just ain’t that bad. I’ll save that story for another time). So, I grabbed a nearby shoe and went at it. Well, I hit it, but not hard enough, or good enough, because it didn’t get smooshed on the wall. Instead it fell into the dark valley between my wall and my bed. Crap! Now what?!? I did get up and moved my bed, but couldn’t find it. So, I snuggled under the covers, but had an incredibly hard time falling asleep thinking about this maybe-hurt-but-not-dead spider underneath me. My fears eventually gave way to Zzzzzs though, and I peacefully woke up the next morning and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I flipped the light on and put the toothbrush into my mouth, looking into the mirror...there, in my hair...was the spider. IN MY HAIR! That means inches from my mouth! It was dead because its legs were all curled up. (which is interesting, why do their legs curl up when you kill them?) In very girlish fashion, I shrieked and leaned over the sink, shaking my head vigorously back and forth to make it fall out. SICK!

This morning, my alarm went off. I pressed snooze. Alarm went off again. I rolled over. Turned it off. Stretched. Pulled my hooded sweatshirt hood a little tighter around my face and peeked over at the window. Yep. Blue skies again! Sweet. Yawned, and then...suddenly saw directly above me a spider. RIGHT ABOVE MY HEAD. You have never seen a person hop out of bed on a Wednesday morning so quickly! I grabbed my slipper, hopped back up on the bed and had to do a little jump (making the headboard hit the wall...oops, sorry neighbor), get the spider to fall down onto my bed, then shoo it over onto the floor and finally kill it. Gross.

Then I go downstairs to start my coffee only to discover another spider, same kind, chillin’ like a villain in the 9x13 pan I have out to make dessert for friends tonight! Sick! So, killed that sucker and washed the pan (don’t worry MG girls!).

But it’s not even like I have a warm place for them to stay. My furnace is dead. So leave me alone! Go next door! Go be swallowed in someone else’s sleep. Quit trying to be my friend! You're not invited to dinner.