Because I'm me

Why isn’t a lovely lady like you married yet?
Would you be interested...I have a friend who has a single son…
Have you tried online dating?
Why don’t you have a boyfriend?
Why are you still single?

Really. How does a person politely respond to these things? All well-intentioned and often complimentary, I know. But still. I know there’s not supposed to be such a thing as a stupid question, but...

In a recent meeting at work, a coworker actually blurted out randomly...as if a lightbulb had just gone on..."SO AND SO is SINGLE, Heather!"
Um. Ok. Again, how do I respond?! Thanks for thinking of me, but we’re in a MEETING!

A couple days ago I spent the afternoon at work editing Alum News...the deaths, weddings, births that will appear in the school’s next magazine. Well, I think I may have visibly stiffened as I got to the 2003 graduation year. It’s the year I graduated from college. People my age are getting married, or they are married and just had a baby. Or they are married and just had their second baby! And I’m...well, I’m NOT. I’m not married (and subsequently don’t have children). And I don’t foresee myself getting married anytime in the very near future, based on my recent dating track record, or lack thereof. The wedding and birth announcements were translating in my brain to the questions above. Why isn’t...? Why don’t...? Why haven’t...?

The answer is so obvious though. Because I’m me! I’m ME. I’m HJ, Hedder, Heather J, seester, the biggest 28 there ever was, Heatha B. Jones. I am ME, and today I am single, And why am I single? Because that’s exactly what God has me being today. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t always embrace the I-am-single-hear-me-roar attitude. I mean, who really loves going to weddings sans date and getting nudged out on the floor for the bouquet toss with the 8-year-old flower girls? And who really loves being single as we’re on the verge of fall and the “perfect” autumn dates are endless? I don’t. I really don’t. I’d love to be pursued. And I’d love to have a best buddy of the opposite sex who makes me laugh and softens my edges and could stay up late talking to me about my classes, and politics and life. But I don’t right now. Admittedly, I wallow in this reality sometimes. I wallow in the Whys, and getting asking the Why questions isn't so helpful. So, I have to choose to—sometimes just once a month or other times daily (or five times a day)—to not wallow.

But, next time that person in all their good intentions asks me a why question like the ones above, they will probably be confused, because I’m going to say “Because I’m ME,” and then I’m going to walk away. I know it’s simplistic and maybe a little snotty, but it’s the truth! I’m ME! And today I’m single. And there are too many other fun things to be doing—like camping—than contemplating the Whys.

And someday maybe someone can ask, "WHY does he love YOU?" And I’ll be able to answer with the same response, "Because I’m ME!"