Leavin' on a jetplane, but...

Should you wear flip flops or tennies? Flip flops make the security line so much easier…flip ‘em into the bin and then flop ‘em back on at the end. In doing this though, you render your bare feet vulnerable to that 20-foot strip where thousands of other bare feet (read: foot germs!) have been. Eww. I try not to think about this, but I’m blogging about it…so you know I’m thinking about it. You can go the tennis shoe route, with socks to protect your soles, but then having to untie your shoes, as your purse and/or carryon slips off your shoulder, and you’re trying to hold your boarding pass and your driver’s license and your e-ticket you printed out the night before and your luggage claim ticket as people wait behind you, and your sunglasses are falling off your head…nightmare!

Do you stop and get the Caribou coffee before boarding the plane? It’s 1000 times better than the stuff they’ll serve you on board, but then if you’re carrying a medium dark roast—no cream—how the heck are you supposed to get your carryon bag into the overhead compartment or beneath the seat without spilling all over yourself? And it’s not like your seats have little cupholders.

Do you opt for the window seat so you can rest your head against the window or do you select the aisle? That way you can get up and go to the bathroom (especially if you got that Caribou) without feeling bad for interrupting your neighbors. I’ve nearly had accidents on some flights because I feel so awful bothering the woman next to me trying to sleep and the man next to her trying to work on his laptop…um, excuse me, excuse me…I really did use the restroom before boarding, but I have to go again. Sorry!

And lastly, do you open your mouth (or make eye contact) to greet your neighbor and risk never getting to open that brand new book you picked out the day before at Barnes and Noble, specifically for this trip?

Today I wore flip flops. So I now have dirty feet. And I decided to drink the muddy water that Continental calls coffee. But the stewardess did make a pot just for me. I got the aisle seat, which is good because I had to get up and use the bathroom. And I did chat with my neighbor—an Air Force guy from Anchorage who is voting for Obama, says “launch” instead of “take off” (as in, “well, looks like we’re about to launch”) and said he thought he had long eyelashes until he saw mine. And guess what? I still got to open Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris.