Road I.D. needed

Last year my mom bought me a Road I.D. She sent it to me in California to wear while running. It's red and black with elastic...very sporty looking, but most importantly it has my name and then an emergency contact (name and number). Now, we give her crap for this because really, when is this Road I.D. going to come in handy? If I'm kidnapped, obviously the kidnapper is not going to call my emergency contact. If I'm lost, it's not going to help. So, really, it's only going to work if there's a hit and run: somebody rams into me with their car, I go into ditch and they drive away and then some good Samaritan finds me. Or if I fall while running and somehow break my leg or ankle so bad that I can't manage to hobble to the nearest house and again a good Samaritan decides not to laugh but rather call the emergency contact. Needless to say, my Road I.D. doesn't leave home.

Well, tonight I opted for a walk instead of a run. And no, I did not put on my Road I.D. but I did decide to leave my iPod at home. This allowed me much more time to think about the things I was passing or looking at. Here's what I encountered (in this order):

1. A dead, smeared turtle. Guts all over. Shell cracked, in the middle of a not-so-busy road. Now, it's not like turtles stealthily and swiftly jump out and surprise people. They are slow! And this one wasn't big, but it wasn't small either. I can't imagine missing it. And I couldn't help but wonder what kind of person purposely runs over a turtle?! I'm not an avid animal lover, as my friends will attest to, but my gosh, I wouldn't run over a turtle. Why wouldn't you slow down and swerve just a little?

2. Geese. I encounter geese every time I run and usually in the same place. Normally, however, I have my iPod on and I spend more time trying to dodge the goose poop than I do looking at the geese. But today I had the time to look at them, really look at them, and they are mean! The mama one opened her mouth, stuck her tongue out and hissed. I didn't know they hissed?! As if I was going to steal her poop-creating babies. And I used to feed the geese with my grandpa when I was little, so part of me wanted to say, look woman, I fed your ancestors so you can wipe that mean look off your face.

3. People. I do not like the people who walk or run past you and refuse to make eye contact. No nod, no smile, no half wave. Not even eye contact. It seems so rude. It's not as though a sort-of grin is going to slow you down. I always want to jump out in front of them and say "you can't avoid me! I'm right here! See?" And as I passed some of these people tonight I decided that they were probably not the good Samaritans that would call the number on my Road I.D.

4. Deer. Woah! Seriously only about eight feet away from me, a deer jumps out of the wooded area and darts across the street into traffic!

5. More people. I was nearly home when guys in a dirty white pick-up truck, the kind with like three or four ladders in back, lots of buckets, strange hoses making you wonder if they do plumbing? painting? nothing?...anyways, they drove by and honked and whistled. Some days when it's really hot I'll just wear my sports bra without a T-shirt, but not tonight. I had big, old T-shirt on. Honking? Really? I wanted to go grab that goose to help me hiss at them.

So, anyways, as I walked into the door at home, I decided that maybe I should start wearing my Road I.D. after all. I didn't know it, but our neighborhood is a wild, mean place!